Advocate Of Hope

“The children don’t have special educational needs, they have lousy parents!”

 Is that so!

As parents, we often encounter obstacles that test our resolve, our patience, and our spirit. Among these, and one of the most disheartening experiences, is the misplacement of blame on the very shoulders of those who tirelessly advocate for their child’s needs. It’s a story I hear far too often, yet it’s rarely acknowledged.

When a parent reaches out for help, expressing concern over their child’s behavior or development, they are often met with the suggestion that perhaps, it is their parenting that’s at fault. As such, they are directed towards parenting courses, as if a lack of discipline or understanding on their part is the root of their child’s challenges.

Of course, this may on occasion be true, and support is needed, but for this to be the automatic response not only undermines the parent’s knowledge and commitment but also overlooks the complex needs of their child.

Imagine, for a moment, the journey of these parents.

After countless meetings, after endless nights of worry, their child receives a diagnosis that sheds light on the behaviours previously misunderstood. This diagnosis is not an indictment of their parenting, but a roadmap to understanding their child’s unique needs. And yet, the journey to this point is often delayed, tangled in misconceptions and misplaced blame, leaving children without the support they need during these precious formative years. Frankly, this blame game is a lazy approach.

It erodes the confidence of dedicated parents and sidesteps the real issue at hand—the need for timely diagnosis and support. It creates an unnecessary conflict between parents and those who should be their allies, delaying the identification of the root causes of behaviour that are critical to the child’s development.

But let me tell you about the parents of children with SEND.

They are among the most resilient, informed, and dedicated individuals you could ever wish to meet. They navigate daily challenges that many cannot even fathom, yet they continue to advocate, educate, and support their children with unwavering love and determination.

To simply blame these parents is not only unproductive; it is unjust.

It fails to recognize the extraordinary lengths they go to in supporting their children. It overlooks the reality that these parents are the experts on their child’s needs, tirelessly seeking solutions, support, and understanding.

So let’s shift the narrative. Let us recognize and honour the resilience of these parents. Let us advocate for a system that supports rather than blames, that seeks to understand rather than judge.

Together, we can create a community that uplifts every child and every parent, recognising the unique journey of families with SEND children.

So to every parent facing these challenges: know that you are not alone, that your efforts are seen, and your dedication is unmatched. Together, we stand with you, ready to support and celebrate the incredible journey of raising a child with SEND.